Money and Marriage: 6 Tips for a Healthy Relationship


We live in a new world where women can make just as much if not more than men. Once marriage is the move, we need to be very clear about our money management intentions separately and collectively. We've been told that money is the #1 reason for divorce but, I really think we just have to create a better relationship with money separately in order to flourish as a unit. When talking about money, some get very frustrated and feel some type of way about money negatively. We have to change this!

FYI, Love has nothing to do with it. You were making money before you got married and you will make money after if it comes to that. So, make sure you understand this effects both of your lifestyles and whether you love each other or not, bills still need to be paid.

Build a better bond and use these six steps to build an empire, not watch it fall:

1. Keep a joint bank account.

For bills, expenses, and family savings/trust only, these are what you are both responsible for collectively. Talk about how you would like to pay them, meaning do you want to do autopay or pay bi-weekly. Which ever method you pick is up to you, just make sure you agree on one. A joint checking and savings account is necessary for future purchases, down payment for a home, or emergency funds. This creates conversations around money that benefit you both.

2. Manage a separate account.

Some may not agree with this one but, hear me out. Both men and women like to spend money on luxuries like a haircut, box braids, new handbags, and/or sneakers. I believe you worked hard for your money and if after the household is taken care of the rest, if any is made is yours to keep and do what ever you want. Marriage should not feel like confinement. Also, some of us have businesses, a website comes with a monthly expense, apps and other systems are also an costly. You don't expect for your spouse to pay for that do you? unless you're planning on giving him/her rights to your business.... I didn't think so. See, these are things to think about.

3. Discuss your lifestyle choices together.

Let's say you are accustomed to yearly vacations in nice places like Greece, the Bahamas, or Vegas but, your spouse has never really been outside the state or city for that matter. This is something you need to talk about, maybe even before marriage. I don't care what anyone says opposites do not attract. It's always a struggle in the end when your not on the same wave.

Yes, marriage is about compromise but, it's not about worth it if it puts you in a box.

Life is meant to be lived married or not. If you don't make the money to experience the same things or at least mentally support it, then you need to effectively communicate that, boo.

4. Don't let income difference come between you.

In most relationships, one of you may make more money than the other. And that's ok. But, let's be clear there's only a portion of that money that belongs to the marriage. Now. I'm not saying money can not be exchanged outside of that. I just think that's a major understanding you need to have in consistent conversations or actions.

Follow me, every marriage is different, not one is the same but, all should understand how money is used in their household. For those who stay at home, please understand your position, if you do not bring in any money. This can go a few ways either your given a monthly allowance or you've created a home business that allows you to have your own money. Speaking from experience as an Alpha Female, I never want to feel like my husbands child. Men same goes for you, if you want to stay home and wait for your wife to grant you a few dollas, that's on you just know that come with consequences.

5. Don't be sneaky, keep major purchases out in the open.

Being unfaithful is not the only affair that exist. If your purchases take away from the financial goals you agreed on collectively, that will cause some unwanted smoke in your home. Not that you can't buy what you want, just don't make it seem like a secret. You did agree to this union and that does come with the territory. deal with it.

6. Set expectations upfront.

Be crystal clear about what you expect from your spouse. If you are expecting him/her to stay ambitious and grow at their job or business, say that. Don't assume that's just going to happen. This is the quickest way to feel unfulfilled or unsatisfied with your spouse when you find out that's not exactly what they had in mind or no plan at all.

Or maybe you wanted a house right after you say "I do" you might want to be sure that's the plan on both ends. Believe it or not, a lot of newly engaged couples forget to mention this in the heat of love making and " I love yous" yes, you both may cutely say, " I want to spend the rest of my life with you." But, make it a fact by saying,

" Babe, let's call the mortgage loan officer and see where we stand on a house." Tell me where the lie is...


Listen, money is a beautiful thing, don't let marriage ruin your relationship with it because you simply didn't communicate about it. There should be no fear here or worry about what the other is going to think. If that is an issue, then you need to throw away the whole marriage. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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